Birth “what if’s”…
When it comes to birthing your way it takes courage. Courage to say no to anything that doesn’t align with how you want to birth, courage to go against hospital policies that don’t align with your wishes, courage to advocate for yourself.
What is holding you back from having your dream birth experience?
I often hear clients go down the “what if” rabbit hole:
What if I make noise or sounds during my labour?
It’s normal to make sounds during labour.
What if I’m too loud?
It’s ok to be loud during birth. In fact, low groans can help trigger your vagus nerve and help with pain relief.
What if I throw up during labour?
This can be a common response to the intensity of the contractions. But we often see this during transition with means you are close to meeting your baby. Throwing up, although it doesn’t feel nice, helps to bring baby down.
What if I poop while pushing?
It is very common to poop while pushing. Most people don’t notice they pooped because it is cleaned immediately.
What if I can’t handle the pain?
You are strong enough to go through the pains of labour.
What if I decide I want the epidural?
An epidural can be used as a great tool in different circumstances and doesn’t mean you have failed.
What if I don’t know what to do?
Your body was designed to birth your baby and knows exactly what to do.
What if I don’t know how to push right?
You don’t have to! Your body knows how to do that too. In fact, when baby is ready to be born the fetal ejection reflex kicks in and your body will begin to push uncontrollably. This is when you can work with your body by using breath work to birth your baby.
What if I tear?
This is out of your control however, you can try different birthing positions that give you more control during the pushing stage to help minimize risk of tearing.
What if something goes wrong?
This is also out of your control however we know the majority of pregnancies are low risk and their birth’s tend to be the same.
What if I need a cesarean?
Sometimes this is out of your control as well. The best thing to do is educate yourself on the cesarean procedure process so you are well informed. You can also create a list of preferences in the event a cesarean were needed to help put your mind at ease.
What if my baby is breech?
There are many options available if you find out your baby is breech before birth. If you are concerned about a breech baby you can talk to your care provider about your options. Remember, breech birth is a variation of normal.
What if I have a big baby?
We know that the myth of a big baby is often used to scared patients into various interventions. Remember your body was designed to birth your baby.
What if what happened at my last birth happens again?
Every birth is different. This birth will be different from your last.
What if I can’t have my home birth?
This is often out of your control as well when it comes to medical reasoning. This has nothing to do with your ability to birth your baby and is also not your fault. You can simply bring your home birth to the hospital. There are many ways to make a hospital room feel cozy and homey.
What if something goes wrong at my home birth?
Your midwives are well trained to pick up on the warning signs of various circumstances and will inform you if a transfer is needed. This is also often out of our control and has nothing to do with your ability to birth your baby well.
What if I don’t get my OB when I go into labour?
This is also out of your control. However, if having the same care provider at your birth is very important to you then consider different options for care providers who are more likely to be able to attend your birth. This will help lower any stress surrounding this topic before baby arrives.
What if I can’t have my VBAC?
Sometimes these things do happen. But we know that 80% of people who try for a VBAC are successful.
What if I get a nurse or doctor I don’t like?
You can simply request a new nurse or OB if one is available. There is no harm in asking for someone else if you feel they are not providing you with adequate care. A doula may also be a good option to provide you with consistent support along the way.
What if? What if? What if?
The list is endless. What if statements do nothing more than cause doubt, fear, and anxiety. They are statements that are often rooted in fear and have some kind of false truth or myth tied to them that we have built up in our heads. Have you ever said one of these what if statements? I know I have. We are human. It’s hard not to. It’s very common to go down the road of what if’s especially as you near your estimated due date.
When you catch yourself going down the road of what if’s try to stop yourself and replace that what if with evidence based truth. Take any blame off yourself and focus simply on the truth of the matter.
Don’t let “what if” statements stop you from achieving your dream birth.
Want help achieving your dream birth experience? Book your FREE consultation to chat further about how doula services can help you have your best birth experience.
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